Practice

Our yoga mats are a place for practice, not only practicing funny shapes with our bodies, but practicing how we would like to be in life. Nothing is isolated. How we approach our practice is how we approach our lives. If you decide to take on using your time on the mat as a laboratory for life, you will surely learn great insights to your attitudes and behaviors which in turn will start to create shifts in your life off the mat.

I believe everything is about relationship. Not just with other people, but your relationship to your life, your practice, yourself. All interactions are included in the law of cause and effect and we are in constant relationship with each other and everything in our surroundings which adhere to this law. Every action has an effect on our environment, whether it's intended or not and we often take this lightly.

As a teacher, I am in relationship with my students and I am very aware of my relationship and the potential that lies within that relationship. A teacher has the power to inspire, to awaken new insights, to shine light on new concepts, and also to harm. Words and tone are powerful tools to teach, but more important than that is: intention. Everything we do rests on the tip of motivation, our intention. There have been studies done in classrooms where a teacher in Class A was told she had 5 gifted students in her class but wasn't told which ones, and a teacher in Class B was told she had 5 gifted students and given 5 random names. Neither teacher were allowed to tell the students that there might be any possibly gifted students. The results from class A was the the overall class's marks went up considerably. In Class B the 5 random students' grades went up considerably. The teacher in Class A believed any of her students might be gifted and thus treated them ALL like they were gifted. In Class B, the teacher believed these 5 students were gifted, and so the students performed like they were. Our intentions come through.

On our mats we have the opportunity to get to know ourselves which invites us to look at where our motivations lie. Are we looking to protect ourselves? Be right? Cover our shame? Show our superiority? All of these come from a small self. A self that we feel we need to protect because it feels just too risky to be or show our authentic self lest it be rejected or hurt in some way. Or perhaps is it possible to let go of protecting a 'small' self and reside in a vulnerable yet courageous space that's sufficiently secure so that being wrong means that we're still be ok? Is it possible to be rooted deep enough in our self that we aren't subject to taking things personally and really get that we're all here just learning, growing, and doing the best that we can? Can truth, love, and understanding trump our feelings of inadequacy and the need to cover that up?

As an example, when we argue with our partner or friend, if we want to be right, it doesn't matter what words we use, we will come across as arrogant. On the other had, if we can first root ourselves in coming from a place of love, of becoming solution oriented instead of needing to be right, it's not possible to say something hurtful. 

In the end, it's not our words that matter. When we listen to our own self talk, how we speak to each other, no one will remember the words. People rarely remember what we say, but how we make them feel. Using your mat as your laboratory is a safe place to start awakening your life by becoming present to how you are living it, and perhaps realigning how you are relating to it and everything it touches. As the Buddha said: Be a lamp unto yourself.

What if you could do it better?

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
Buddha

A common theme for me over the last few weeks has been "what if you could do it better?" This came to me after a networking meeting here in Regina, and what I noticed while I was speaking were words like: transformation, catalyst, change; while speaking about my business. These are big scary words, and a lot of the people I spoke to saw the benefits of what I was offering, but for someone else. 

This got me thinking that big scary words are not very attractive because they make us 'wrong' in our ways of being. That doesn't sound very safe, and it's definitely not what I want for my potential clients and students. What I do want, is for people to get thinking about 'what if you could do it better?' This is a very general question that applies to every area of importance to everyone's life. What if you could do your life better? What if your whole life is really the one you made it, and in 30 years you could look back on it with pride and satisfaction because you really lived and loved the heck out of it? What if you could start today?

We did not just 'end up' where we are in our lives. We are currently where we are because of the choices we've made and the steps we've taken, and your life might be really good, but what if you could make it better? Many of us spend a great deal of time on education and training for our work, but no one is going to remember you for being good at your job, they will remember you for how you lived your life, and that could be over tomorrow.

We all live our lives as though we will live forever, yet are paralyzed by the fear of dying, so we do nothing. We live complacently in an illusion that we have all the time in the world to do and say the things we always intended to but never quite get around to. What if you knew that you only had one month left to live? What would you do? Who would you call? Why are you waiting?


Perhaps it just takes a reminder, 'what if you could do it better?' to shift your neutral gear into one that ignites your whole life!

Thanks-giving

So I was giving some thought to what Thanksgiving means to me, and how I'd like to talk about it in my class tonight on the eve before the long weekend. We have designated one day a year to be grateful for the many blessings most of us are lucky enough to experience everyday. Not that these blessings are necessarily perfect, but I predict that if you had to trade your junk with anyone else, once you saw their junk, you'd rush to take yours back.

There are two parts to Thanksgiving: Thanks and Giving. To be grateful of what we receive, and to give back.  We are so blessed. For most of us we are so blessed that we can't even see how blessed we are because we couldn't even conceive of what it would be like to have anything less than what we have. Most of us have the luxury of a family (a support network). Health (life is very hard without it). A choice of education, and vocations. Wealth (a home, savings, food in your fridge). Freedom, safety, clean water, equality for both sexes. This is all very very fortunate, and most of the world does not have this. We are lucky.

I often hear from students and clients that they lack purpose, that they would like to know what they were supposed to be doing in this world. This of course is usually about work, either the dissatisfaction with their current job or wanting it to be about more. Often, it has something to do with wanting to give back and wanting to make a difference. I started thinking about how much work really impacts our lives. We spend most of our waking time doing it, we (hopefully) are constantly striving to become better, we are often pushed past our perceived boundaries, and perhaps even working towards excellence.

How is work related to Thanksgiving? It got me wondering. What if we worked as hard at life, as we do at work? What if your purpose was to strive for excellence everyday towards seeing the good, and being more kind, generous, and joyous? Or pushing past your boundaries of your perceived limitations? Or striving to make yourself better? Your neighborhood better? Your community better? Your life better? What if your real purpose had nothing at all to do with your job for fulfillment, but the manner in which you do it, and how you impact the people there? If this was your intention, or everyone's intention, how would your life be different? This world be different? What if it was only about how you could give?

I know, I know, it sounds awfully idealistic. But I feel there is a foundation of truth here, and that all of us are capable of living this way. We are capable of it when we step out of our own junk and realize the junk doesn't have to own us.

One of the teachings of the Buddha is that the moon is always full. What this means, is that regardless of the shadows that cross the moon to make it appear to be less than it is, to the moon, it is always full. And so it is with us. Our junk or our stories we've bought into about believing we are undeserving, unworthy or less than we are is not the whole picture and it is not real. They are only a shadow crossing over the perfect, inherently good and whole being that is already there.

So, perhaps this weekend you will spend a few moments counting your many blessings, and in turn, be inspired to give of yourself in some small way. It makes all of us richer.

It could be today

It could be today:
- where you remove 'blame' from your vocabulary
- that you hear the birds singing instead of listening to your internal chatter
- where you meet everyone's eyes and offer them a smile
- that you realize you're ok exactly the way you are, and can forgive all the ways you thought  you weren't
- that you look for the good in all beings, and the opportunity in all situations
- that your body feels easy and comfortable
- that the sun might warm your skin (even it's in a sun patch on the couch on a winter's day!)
- that judgment no longer feels necessary
- that you believe everything is possible and you make it happen!

What if?

I was thinking this morning about how most of us live our lives. We have this horrible fear of death, so we pretend it's never going to happen and that we'll live forever. Consequently, myself included, to avoid facing that fact we live in 'tomorrows.'

Tomorrow I'll make more time for myself, tomorrow I'll eat better, tomorrow I'll start my business, tomorrow I'll start doing the things I always wanted too, tomorrow I'll be happy. Because we live so much in the idea of 'tomorrows' we rarely use 'today' to live our lives aligned with how we would like our lives to look like.

I'll ask you to try something. Write out what an average day looks like for you, from waking up, to going to bed. Once that's complete, I'd like for you to write a list of all the things that are most important to you, the things you love to do, what makes you happiest. Now, compare your day, and your list. How many of those items on your list made it to your day, or had the time they/it deserves?

I think most of us live days, and lives that have somewhat 'happened' to us. Like we fell into it, and just kept going. But what if there was another option? What if you could take that list, and work your day around even a few of those points? How might your life be different?

See, I think that yes, we should be accepting of life as it is, and be in the present moment as it arises. However, we are also in this world to experience it, and we have free will to experience it more fully. So, why not take a chance? Maybe today is the day that you spend more time with your spouse, go to your first class, buy a stranger a cup of coffee. This is your life, live it on your terms and own it.

Touch Your Toes

Yoga is such a funny thing isn't it? We make funny shapes with our bodies, and we expect some kind of result to happen. Most beginner students are a little shocked at how challenging yoga really is, and I look at it as my responsibility to make it fun, and safe enough, for them to want to try it again. We tend to avoid things that are hard as a rule. No one wants to suck, especially at something perceived  to be as easy as yoga!

I am a very hands on teacher, and I give gentle physical, as well as verbal adjustments to all my students. My reason is twofold: not everyone has the body awareness to feel there way into a posture; and secondly, I think our culture is very lonely and we can all use a kind touch. A few weeks ago I offered a suggestion to one of my students in a seated forward fold to use a strap so he could straighten his legs and lengthen his spine forward by leading with his chest. I explained that he was hunching over his bent legs, and the stretch was currently in his back instead of the hamstrings we were targeting. He smiled at me sheepishly, and said, "I know, but I don't want to." He knew I was right, but he had probably been a runner his whole adult life, and his ego may have been experiencing some bruising over the fact that he couldn't touch his toes.

This scenario is common and happens several times a week. Sometimes people are grateful for the adjustment, sometimes their ego is just to fragile to accept it. But what I find amazing (and all of us do this), is how much we attach our personal worth, or our morality, to what we can and can't do whether in yoga or any other activity. I'm no better of a person, or more moral because I can touch my toes than my sweet student that didn't want to use a strap. It is a familiar theme that most yoga students have faced themselves at some point and then beat them self up for being unable to get into a posture. I've been there too, many times. But what I wonder is: why do we feel the need for externals to validate who we are, and our worth to ourselves and our society? I mean, toe touching isn't even a very useful skill for the betterment of our society.

If you summed up what all the Buddha's taught, it would amount to 3 things:
1) Do no harm
2) Act for the good
3) Purify the mind
Not anywhere did they say, "Touch your toes."

So relax, enjoy your body, whatever limitations they may have. As B.K.S Iyengar said "My body is my temple. The asanas are my prayers," and all prayers are beautiful when they are sincere.

Everything We Really Want

I underwent a surgery a week and a half ago which turned out to be more than I had bargained for. Originally it was supposed to be a small procedure with a recovery period of 1-2 days. Upon surgery, the doctor felt the original procedure wouldn't change the issue and chose to do a dissection instead.

All of my discharge material was to support me in recovering from the original procedure, and the information of how to care for myself was very helpful. However, because it said I was supposed to be better in 1-2 days I fully expected that, and everyday that I wasn't recovering and the pain was still unbearable, I suffered more and more. Not just physically, but in my head because I was expecting to already be better, and my heart wept.

The last couple of weeks have been full of chronic pain, medication, small indignities, and a lot of unknowns. I couldn't sit, drive, or lay down with my knees bent, my appetite was diminished, and my mobility was extremely compromised. My usual coping mechanisms of physical activity weren't possible, and then I got sick. It's amazing where the mind goes when there is no anchor. Because I had no idea what was going on, all kinds of terrifying images would fly through my mind: that this may be permanent, and I was terrified that my healthy, active, happy world was about to collapse.

I was squeezed into an appointment this morning to see my specialist, and she advised me that because the dissection was a much more invasive procedure the recovery time would be probably six weeks. SIX WEEKS not 1-2 days. I had spent the last week and a half in pain and terrified of my future, when in fact, this is probably normal. I just wasn't told.

What if I had known? The pain and discomfort would still have been there, but I would have expected it. I could have mentally prepared myself for what was to come post-op, and allowed it to be, instead of feeling the frustration of why it wasn't healing and that there was something larger that was wrong. Right?

I don't think so. The stories of my body being damaged or failing me, didn't really have to draw me in and take over my world. I didn't have to buy into it. We never really know outcomes anyways. Everything changes all of the time, that's the only constant. So, when I look back at what I really wanted: to be healthy. The reason why I wanted to be healthy was the the same reason anyone would, it was so I could be: happy, peaceful, loving. But those were already there. They are for all of us all of the time when we open ourselves to the moment standing before us, without expectation, and with our wide arms open to acceptance. Our conditions are our conditions, but they don't have to influence the abundance of joy, love and peace that are there when we can just stop. Stop the stories of our fears, our wanting; of things, others, ourselves to be different than they are.

Everything we really want is right here. All the time.