Love the life you're in

Do you ever wonder what you're life could have been or still could be if things were different? You know, like, say if you won a million dollars or were born into a different family situation or had the freedom to do anything you wanted? I think most of us have the 'my life would be perfect if only if (fill in the blank) was different. The problem with that statement is it leaves us feeling powerless. There is no sense of personal empowerment or direction in that statement, it is in fact a power-sucker.

My personal beliefs are to accept everything as it is, and see the opportunity in every situation. However, this does not mean that I accept everything and do nothing. Accepting things as they are allows me to see reality for what it is so that I have clear judgment about how to proceed next. Wishing things were different is the opposite of this belief. Wishing, is not accepting things for how they are and then doing nothing about it.

We all have our own pretty patterned and colourful baggage that we cart around, and usually it's quite heavy. However, it's not the baggage that keeps us stuck it's what we choose to do despite the baggage. How you live your life is still ultimately your choice. You can choose to be the victim of your reactive (we all have some, it's ok you're human) behavior and history. Or, you might choose something different.

I find it amazing to hear people's responses when I ask them 'what would be different if you won a million dollars?' Most people see freedom and happiness in that vision. My next question is, 'why can't you have that now?'. My belief is that money isn't the answer, sometimes it might feel that way, but in the end all any of us want is to be happy and to make our loved ones happy. You can do that today. Right now. If you're waiting for a lottery to finally start writing your book, go back to school, do what you really love, you might as well let that dream go because it will never happen. If this is really something you want to do you would find a way to start now, because even if you had the money, if you haven't started by now, you probably won't start then either.

You don't need to start writing your book, or whatever you've been putting off, but you can start being more accepting of the way things already are in your life and realize that happiness isn't going to happen once something else changes. Santosha, or contentment isn't about finding happiness at the end of the road, it's about being present with your life and loving it anyways. The good news is that nothing needs to change for you to finally be happy. Happiness is already here. In every breath, every moment, all the time. It is built into you. All you have to do is slow down enough to see the miracle and the beauty of this life. Your life. And if you still want to write a book, don't wait. Do it today.

Practice

Our yoga mats are a place for practice, not only practicing funny shapes with our bodies, but practicing how we would like to be in life. Nothing is isolated. How we approach our practice is how we approach our lives. If you decide to take on using your time on the mat as a laboratory for life, you will surely learn great insights to your attitudes and behaviors which in turn will start to create shifts in your life off the mat.

I believe everything is about relationship. Not just with other people, but your relationship to your life, your practice, yourself. All interactions are included in the law of cause and effect and we are in constant relationship with each other and everything in our surroundings which adhere to this law. Every action has an effect on our environment, whether it's intended or not and we often take this lightly.

As a teacher, I am in relationship with my students and I am very aware of my relationship and the potential that lies within that relationship. A teacher has the power to inspire, to awaken new insights, to shine light on new concepts, and also to harm. Words and tone are powerful tools to teach, but more important than that is: intention. Everything we do rests on the tip of motivation, our intention. There have been studies done in classrooms where a teacher in Class A was told she had 5 gifted students in her class but wasn't told which ones, and a teacher in Class B was told she had 5 gifted students and given 5 random names. Neither teacher were allowed to tell the students that there might be any possibly gifted students. The results from class A was the the overall class's marks went up considerably. In Class B the 5 random students' grades went up considerably. The teacher in Class A believed any of her students might be gifted and thus treated them ALL like they were gifted. In Class B, the teacher believed these 5 students were gifted, and so the students performed like they were. Our intentions come through.

On our mats we have the opportunity to get to know ourselves which invites us to look at where our motivations lie. Are we looking to protect ourselves? Be right? Cover our shame? Show our superiority? All of these come from a small self. A self that we feel we need to protect because it feels just too risky to be or show our authentic self lest it be rejected or hurt in some way. Or perhaps is it possible to let go of protecting a 'small' self and reside in a vulnerable yet courageous space that's sufficiently secure so that being wrong means that we're still be ok? Is it possible to be rooted deep enough in our self that we aren't subject to taking things personally and really get that we're all here just learning, growing, and doing the best that we can? Can truth, love, and understanding trump our feelings of inadequacy and the need to cover that up?

As an example, when we argue with our partner or friend, if we want to be right, it doesn't matter what words we use, we will come across as arrogant. On the other had, if we can first root ourselves in coming from a place of love, of becoming solution oriented instead of needing to be right, it's not possible to say something hurtful. 

In the end, it's not our words that matter. When we listen to our own self talk, how we speak to each other, no one will remember the words. People rarely remember what we say, but how we make them feel. Using your mat as your laboratory is a safe place to start awakening your life by becoming present to how you are living it, and perhaps realigning how you are relating to it and everything it touches. As the Buddha said: Be a lamp unto yourself.

What if you could do it better?

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
Buddha

A common theme for me over the last few weeks has been "what if you could do it better?" This came to me after a networking meeting here in Regina, and what I noticed while I was speaking were words like: transformation, catalyst, change; while speaking about my business. These are big scary words, and a lot of the people I spoke to saw the benefits of what I was offering, but for someone else. 

This got me thinking that big scary words are not very attractive because they make us 'wrong' in our ways of being. That doesn't sound very safe, and it's definitely not what I want for my potential clients and students. What I do want, is for people to get thinking about 'what if you could do it better?' This is a very general question that applies to every area of importance to everyone's life. What if you could do your life better? What if your whole life is really the one you made it, and in 30 years you could look back on it with pride and satisfaction because you really lived and loved the heck out of it? What if you could start today?

We did not just 'end up' where we are in our lives. We are currently where we are because of the choices we've made and the steps we've taken, and your life might be really good, but what if you could make it better? Many of us spend a great deal of time on education and training for our work, but no one is going to remember you for being good at your job, they will remember you for how you lived your life, and that could be over tomorrow.

We all live our lives as though we will live forever, yet are paralyzed by the fear of dying, so we do nothing. We live complacently in an illusion that we have all the time in the world to do and say the things we always intended to but never quite get around to. What if you knew that you only had one month left to live? What would you do? Who would you call? Why are you waiting?


Perhaps it just takes a reminder, 'what if you could do it better?' to shift your neutral gear into one that ignites your whole life!

Thanks-giving

So I was giving some thought to what Thanksgiving means to me, and how I'd like to talk about it in my class tonight on the eve before the long weekend. We have designated one day a year to be grateful for the many blessings most of us are lucky enough to experience everyday. Not that these blessings are necessarily perfect, but I predict that if you had to trade your junk with anyone else, once you saw their junk, you'd rush to take yours back.

There are two parts to Thanksgiving: Thanks and Giving. To be grateful of what we receive, and to give back.  We are so blessed. For most of us we are so blessed that we can't even see how blessed we are because we couldn't even conceive of what it would be like to have anything less than what we have. Most of us have the luxury of a family (a support network). Health (life is very hard without it). A choice of education, and vocations. Wealth (a home, savings, food in your fridge). Freedom, safety, clean water, equality for both sexes. This is all very very fortunate, and most of the world does not have this. We are lucky.

I often hear from students and clients that they lack purpose, that they would like to know what they were supposed to be doing in this world. This of course is usually about work, either the dissatisfaction with their current job or wanting it to be about more. Often, it has something to do with wanting to give back and wanting to make a difference. I started thinking about how much work really impacts our lives. We spend most of our waking time doing it, we (hopefully) are constantly striving to become better, we are often pushed past our perceived boundaries, and perhaps even working towards excellence.

How is work related to Thanksgiving? It got me wondering. What if we worked as hard at life, as we do at work? What if your purpose was to strive for excellence everyday towards seeing the good, and being more kind, generous, and joyous? Or pushing past your boundaries of your perceived limitations? Or striving to make yourself better? Your neighborhood better? Your community better? Your life better? What if your real purpose had nothing at all to do with your job for fulfillment, but the manner in which you do it, and how you impact the people there? If this was your intention, or everyone's intention, how would your life be different? This world be different? What if it was only about how you could give?

I know, I know, it sounds awfully idealistic. But I feel there is a foundation of truth here, and that all of us are capable of living this way. We are capable of it when we step out of our own junk and realize the junk doesn't have to own us.

One of the teachings of the Buddha is that the moon is always full. What this means, is that regardless of the shadows that cross the moon to make it appear to be less than it is, to the moon, it is always full. And so it is with us. Our junk or our stories we've bought into about believing we are undeserving, unworthy or less than we are is not the whole picture and it is not real. They are only a shadow crossing over the perfect, inherently good and whole being that is already there.

So, perhaps this weekend you will spend a few moments counting your many blessings, and in turn, be inspired to give of yourself in some small way. It makes all of us richer.

It could be today

It could be today:
- where you remove 'blame' from your vocabulary
- that you hear the birds singing instead of listening to your internal chatter
- where you meet everyone's eyes and offer them a smile
- that you realize you're ok exactly the way you are, and can forgive all the ways you thought  you weren't
- that you look for the good in all beings, and the opportunity in all situations
- that your body feels easy and comfortable
- that the sun might warm your skin (even it's in a sun patch on the couch on a winter's day!)
- that judgment no longer feels necessary
- that you believe everything is possible and you make it happen!