Today, I was watching some TED talks (which I do when I'm wanting inspiration), and I stumbled across Nic Marks speaking about the 'Happy Planet Index' which I found fascinating. It was based on measuring and creating happiness but without cost to the planet. AMAZING!!!
Nic Marks is a statistician, and he and a host of other smart people came up with the '5 Ways to Well Being' for the Government Office for Science in the UK. These probably won't come as a surprise to you, but it's doing these small 5 things everyday which can change your overall well being. Meaning: make you happier.
So, here they are:
1) Connect- your social relationships are your cornerstones of your life. Devote the time and energy to building them.
2) Be Active- the fastest way out of a bad mood is to step outside or turn on the radio and dance. Move a muscle change a feeling.
3) Take Notice- notice the things that are happening around you, the changing of the seasons, what's bubbling up inside of you. Mindfulness is very important for our well being.
4) Keep Learning- keep, is the important part. Learning through our whole life, and being curious keeps us healthier for longer. It doesn't need to be formal learning, even trying new recipes, picking up an old instrument you used to play, the key is to keep your brain learning.
5) Give- our generosity, our altruism our compassion are all hardwired to our reward mechanism in our brain, therefore: it feels good to give.
These are five of the simplest things we can do to bring more happiness into our lives, and they are free. How might you try and fit these 5 into your own life? And could you start right now?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Esteem of self
Self worth and confidence for some people seem to be something that they are born with, for the rest of us (and there are many!), these are qualities we can learn and develop.
Time and time again, whether it be my coaching clients or my yoga students, I see one consistent theme in how they develop confidence and self esteem: they do the work. That means that: if they aren't "feeling like it" they do it anyway; if challenges seem insurmountable, they take it one step at a time; if they don't know how, they learn. The key is in the attitude which I call the "yet" attitude. When someone says to me "but I don't know how," I finish their sentence by replying "yet." Whether it's "I'm not strong enough," "I can't," "I'll won't be able to," each of these can be finished by "yet." So what if you aren't who you expect yourself to be right now, no one is, but if you keep working through the tough stuff you will be. Anyone we admire was born with the same intelligence as the rest of us, they became worthy of our admiration by doing the work regardless of the obstacles along the way, and you can too.
The best part is that it's by doing the work which brings us self esteem and confidence. This is because each time we do it, we are proving to ourselves in a very real way that we can count on ourselves and that we can do it. Each time we prove to ourselves we can do it, we are saying yes to ourselves that we are worth it. That's powerful stuff, and it will transform your life.
Dictionary.com defines esteem in this way:
–noun
Time and time again, whether it be my coaching clients or my yoga students, I see one consistent theme in how they develop confidence and self esteem: they do the work. That means that: if they aren't "feeling like it" they do it anyway; if challenges seem insurmountable, they take it one step at a time; if they don't know how, they learn. The key is in the attitude which I call the "yet" attitude. When someone says to me "but I don't know how," I finish their sentence by replying "yet." Whether it's "I'm not strong enough," "I can't," "I'll won't be able to," each of these can be finished by "yet." So what if you aren't who you expect yourself to be right now, no one is, but if you keep working through the tough stuff you will be. Anyone we admire was born with the same intelligence as the rest of us, they became worthy of our admiration by doing the work regardless of the obstacles along the way, and you can too.
The best part is that it's by doing the work which brings us self esteem and confidence. This is because each time we do it, we are proving to ourselves in a very real way that we can count on ourselves and that we can do it. Each time we prove to ourselves we can do it, we are saying yes to ourselves that we are worth it. That's powerful stuff, and it will transform your life.
Dictionary.com defines esteem in this way:
–verb (used with object)
1. to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for hishonesty.
2. to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
3. to set a value on; appraise.
–noun
4. favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
All of these definitions include a favorable judgment worthy of high regard and respect, and respect is something that is earned. So as we slog through the hard stuff, we are proving to ourselves each time that we are strong, capable, and worthy of not only the respect of others, but our own.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Heaven and Earth
Today I had a brief conversation with a fellow teacher regarding our bodies as machines and how they need regular maintenance because we need them to survive our entire lives. Later, I was in the shower sitting on the edge of the tub looking down at my legs and this thought came to me again, but this time on a different level.
As I looked at my body, it wasn't as if I was looking at my body, but more the experience of looking at is as my machine, like my car. And I guess it really is my 'car', after all it is the vehicle that carries me through this world, yet it was quite refreshing to experience it as something somewhat detached from the usual internal judgment of it's appearance, how it's failing, or how it's not quite how I wish it would be. It simply became my vehicle, and suddenly I cherished it.
This is a spiritual awakening in it's own sense, to experience oneself as not 'self' but of something larger than the small confines of one's own body. I mean you can't really believe that what you see in the mirror can possibly contain the beauty, complexities, and vastness of who you really are, do you?
We are in a constant dance within the human experience between heaven and earth. The earthly experience of responsibility, the reality of the mundane, routine, and day-to-day life. It is easy to get stuck here, to go through the motions of living without really experiencing what it is to be alive. Then there is the heavenly experiences of connection, divine beauty, trust, and inner knowing that can grace us with the reminder that there is greater meaning to this life. A reminder of the spectacular harshness, and astounding beauty of what it is to be alive in this world and that you are a part of it. So we tip-toe and dance between the two worlds, feet firmly grounded in the real, our hands reaching towards possibility and purpose. After all, we are all made of stars...
As I looked at my body, it wasn't as if I was looking at my body, but more the experience of looking at is as my machine, like my car. And I guess it really is my 'car', after all it is the vehicle that carries me through this world, yet it was quite refreshing to experience it as something somewhat detached from the usual internal judgment of it's appearance, how it's failing, or how it's not quite how I wish it would be. It simply became my vehicle, and suddenly I cherished it.
This is a spiritual awakening in it's own sense, to experience oneself as not 'self' but of something larger than the small confines of one's own body. I mean you can't really believe that what you see in the mirror can possibly contain the beauty, complexities, and vastness of who you really are, do you?
We are in a constant dance within the human experience between heaven and earth. The earthly experience of responsibility, the reality of the mundane, routine, and day-to-day life. It is easy to get stuck here, to go through the motions of living without really experiencing what it is to be alive. Then there is the heavenly experiences of connection, divine beauty, trust, and inner knowing that can grace us with the reminder that there is greater meaning to this life. A reminder of the spectacular harshness, and astounding beauty of what it is to be alive in this world and that you are a part of it. So we tip-toe and dance between the two worlds, feet firmly grounded in the real, our hands reaching towards possibility and purpose. After all, we are all made of stars...
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year, New You...
It is officially a New Year filled with new energy and hope for 2011. Many of us made New Year's resolutions, but unfortunately the statistics show that 90% will never succeed past 2 weeks. How is that possible when we are so determined and hopeful that 'this year will be different', the statistics are so dismal?
Most resolutions include: losing weight, eating better, quitting smoking and making more money or debt management. All of these require not only an action to change, but a specific behavior needs to be altered every single day. A good intention is great but for it to stick consistent action is required to make the change. This is why diets don't work.
To lose weight, most of us opt for a diet. A diet requires us to alter our eating habits for a period of time until the desired weight loss is attained. The key here is: for a period of time. This may not seem like much but it means everything to a mind that is addicted to eating a certain way, because it 'knows" that the period of time will end and it can resume it's previous habits again. This is what got us the weight gain in the first place. So why go there?
This is also true for quitting smoking, or drinking, or whatever other vice has got us. If you are a chronic smoker or alcoholic, there is no 'social' smoking or drinking. You have to first make the decision to alter your behavior for good or it won't stick. I quit smoking twice to learn that lesson, and it has been almost 10 years since I had a cigarette so I know this is true.
Everything in moderation has been the recommendation, but I disagree. If you want to lose weight there is a specific calculation that you need to burn more calories than you consume. If you want to save money, you need to stop spending. If you want to quit smoking, you need to just stop. At some point along the journey of wanting to change, you need to take action and make it, even if it's uncomfortable. All change is uncomfortable but that's how we grow. You are the one in control of what goes into your body, your lungs, and your wallet.
Here's the key to do it successfully: Don't worry about forever, just choose to do the new behavior today and then choose to do it again tomorrow. What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while. By doing a little bit each day, you will get a lot accomplished and reach your goals much faster. I've heard that the best way to break a habit is to create a new one. As you take small consistent steps each day, you are doing just that whether your habit was overeating or overspending.
What if you're not trying to change a behavior but create a new one? Maybe you have a dream that has yet to be fulfilled, a book inside you waiting to be written, an adventure you've always wanted to take? The steps are the same, first decide, then commit to taking action towards it daily. Nothing happens by just thinking about it. Imagine if the pyramids remained someone's dream, or any great works of art, books, Google? These all started as an idea, but it took action to make them real, and so can you. You know as much as most people, and everyday people create great things everyday.
Someone gave you life, now you have the opportunity to give birth to yourself. To become the person you were always meant to be and live the life you were meant to have. It's all about choice: to live in fear of change and live how you have; or to feel the fear and do it anyways opening to the possibilities that await you. This can be your year! The choice is yours.
Most resolutions include: losing weight, eating better, quitting smoking and making more money or debt management. All of these require not only an action to change, but a specific behavior needs to be altered every single day. A good intention is great but for it to stick consistent action is required to make the change. This is why diets don't work.
To lose weight, most of us opt for a diet. A diet requires us to alter our eating habits for a period of time until the desired weight loss is attained. The key here is: for a period of time. This may not seem like much but it means everything to a mind that is addicted to eating a certain way, because it 'knows" that the period of time will end and it can resume it's previous habits again. This is what got us the weight gain in the first place. So why go there?
This is also true for quitting smoking, or drinking, or whatever other vice has got us. If you are a chronic smoker or alcoholic, there is no 'social' smoking or drinking. You have to first make the decision to alter your behavior for good or it won't stick. I quit smoking twice to learn that lesson, and it has been almost 10 years since I had a cigarette so I know this is true.
Everything in moderation has been the recommendation, but I disagree. If you want to lose weight there is a specific calculation that you need to burn more calories than you consume. If you want to save money, you need to stop spending. If you want to quit smoking, you need to just stop. At some point along the journey of wanting to change, you need to take action and make it, even if it's uncomfortable. All change is uncomfortable but that's how we grow. You are the one in control of what goes into your body, your lungs, and your wallet.
Here's the key to do it successfully: Don't worry about forever, just choose to do the new behavior today and then choose to do it again tomorrow. What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while. By doing a little bit each day, you will get a lot accomplished and reach your goals much faster. I've heard that the best way to break a habit is to create a new one. As you take small consistent steps each day, you are doing just that whether your habit was overeating or overspending.
What if you're not trying to change a behavior but create a new one? Maybe you have a dream that has yet to be fulfilled, a book inside you waiting to be written, an adventure you've always wanted to take? The steps are the same, first decide, then commit to taking action towards it daily. Nothing happens by just thinking about it. Imagine if the pyramids remained someone's dream, or any great works of art, books, Google? These all started as an idea, but it took action to make them real, and so can you. You know as much as most people, and everyday people create great things everyday.
Someone gave you life, now you have the opportunity to give birth to yourself. To become the person you were always meant to be and live the life you were meant to have. It's all about choice: to live in fear of change and live how you have; or to feel the fear and do it anyways opening to the possibilities that await you. This can be your year! The choice is yours.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Imagine
I recently returned home from a beautiful vacation in Mexico. The weather was perfect, the water was an amazing turquoise blue, the sand was white and I had the best company a gal could ask for! It was a perfect time away.
Even though everything was as perfect as it could be, what I will remember most is a scene I saw the day before I was coming home. My partner and I were eating breakfast and this cute little girl around 2 years old was sitting at the table in front of us with her parents. The resort we stayed at was a family resort and there were lots of sweet little kids around, but this little cutie was something else! Her mom had her on her lap to feed her, and all of a sudden, this little tot leaped off her mother's lap and quickly clasped the hand of a four year old boy! They both were smiling at their families as they proudly held each others' hands like they had just won the lottery. She shyly was pulling her dress above her head and he looked around the room like he was escorting a debutant to the ball and they were on stage for all to see. They continued like that and played together in the restaurant for the remainder of our breakfast. It was so precious!
This was such a beautiful raw act of connection. There was no dancing around trying to impress, hide, or be someone they weren't. They liked each other and they knew it, and they were happy.
There are many different beliefs as to why we are here and what this life is about. This is mine: that we are all here looking for each other. We are here to love. When I looked at those two children I saw what honest love looks like when it's not complicated by trying to protect our fragile sense of self. It made me think how much easier our lives would be if we could only remember what it was like to love when we were young, before we complicated things to try and make ourselves so hard to love. As John Lennon sang: "You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one."
Even though everything was as perfect as it could be, what I will remember most is a scene I saw the day before I was coming home. My partner and I were eating breakfast and this cute little girl around 2 years old was sitting at the table in front of us with her parents. The resort we stayed at was a family resort and there were lots of sweet little kids around, but this little cutie was something else! Her mom had her on her lap to feed her, and all of a sudden, this little tot leaped off her mother's lap and quickly clasped the hand of a four year old boy! They both were smiling at their families as they proudly held each others' hands like they had just won the lottery. She shyly was pulling her dress above her head and he looked around the room like he was escorting a debutant to the ball and they were on stage for all to see. They continued like that and played together in the restaurant for the remainder of our breakfast. It was so precious!
This was such a beautiful raw act of connection. There was no dancing around trying to impress, hide, or be someone they weren't. They liked each other and they knew it, and they were happy.
There are many different beliefs as to why we are here and what this life is about. This is mine: that we are all here looking for each other. We are here to love. When I looked at those two children I saw what honest love looks like when it's not complicated by trying to protect our fragile sense of self. It made me think how much easier our lives would be if we could only remember what it was like to love when we were young, before we complicated things to try and make ourselves so hard to love. As John Lennon sang: "You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one."
Monday, November 22, 2010
We are what we think
We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make our world.
-Buddha
Thanks to the Buddha for keeping it real. We've all heard the quote "whether you think you can or can't, you're right," and it's the truth. Our entire realities are made up purely of perceptions, and most of our perceptions are clouded by past experiences and hurts so we are rarely even perceiving clearly.
What if you took can't out of your vocabulary, what might be different? Last year I played an experiment with myself of not only saying yes to every opportunity I could, but committing to following through with them. My motto during that time was "lets make it happen" and do you know what? I did. It was one of my best years ever, and the most fun! Our perceived limitations are only as real as we let them be, but our strength and courage are also as strong as we believe them to be.
Believe you are everything, that this world was made for you to succeed. Why? Because it's true.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make our world.
-Buddha
Thanks to the Buddha for keeping it real. We've all heard the quote "whether you think you can or can't, you're right," and it's the truth. Our entire realities are made up purely of perceptions, and most of our perceptions are clouded by past experiences and hurts so we are rarely even perceiving clearly.
What if you took can't out of your vocabulary, what might be different? Last year I played an experiment with myself of not only saying yes to every opportunity I could, but committing to following through with them. My motto during that time was "lets make it happen" and do you know what? I did. It was one of my best years ever, and the most fun! Our perceived limitations are only as real as we let them be, but our strength and courage are also as strong as we believe them to be.
Believe you are everything, that this world was made for you to succeed. Why? Because it's true.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What did you want to be when you grew up? I was lucky enough to have parents that told me and more importantly believed that I could be anything I wanted to be. Sadly, I think they were hoping that I would fulfill my dreams of becoming the President of Canada instead of becoming a yoga teacher, but I think they're over it by now...
Growing up I also had a passion for fashion design and hoped that one day I would have my clothes walking down a runway in a posh Paris studio. I'm not so interested in fashion anymore, but when I listen, there's the same passion and purpose that my life is meant for something big. When I was younger, it was more about the fame and glamor of the fashion professions, now, it's quieter, more soulful, and more urgent than ever before. I, probably just like you, know I was put here for something important. I believe this life is precious and short and although life is strong it is also very fragile because it can be drastically changed or taken from me at any moment. I have no illusion that death is always near, just like birth, and perhaps that is where my urgency has set in.
What happened to our childhood hopes and dreams? Did we let society convince us that we were meant simply hope for the best and clock in and out each day and never hope for more? What was it that drove your heart when you were young, and what happened to your dream? Is it still the same, or is it now something different? All of us, when we get quiet enough to listen to the echos in our own hearts, we know we are meant for something more. So today, I challenge you to uncover what inspires you to be and give your best, and take one small step off the road that's known towards one of your dreams, whatever that may be. Find your luminous truth, and let it shine.
Growing up I also had a passion for fashion design and hoped that one day I would have my clothes walking down a runway in a posh Paris studio. I'm not so interested in fashion anymore, but when I listen, there's the same passion and purpose that my life is meant for something big. When I was younger, it was more about the fame and glamor of the fashion professions, now, it's quieter, more soulful, and more urgent than ever before. I, probably just like you, know I was put here for something important. I believe this life is precious and short and although life is strong it is also very fragile because it can be drastically changed or taken from me at any moment. I have no illusion that death is always near, just like birth, and perhaps that is where my urgency has set in.
What happened to our childhood hopes and dreams? Did we let society convince us that we were meant simply hope for the best and clock in and out each day and never hope for more? What was it that drove your heart when you were young, and what happened to your dream? Is it still the same, or is it now something different? All of us, when we get quiet enough to listen to the echos in our own hearts, we know we are meant for something more. So today, I challenge you to uncover what inspires you to be and give your best, and take one small step off the road that's known towards one of your dreams, whatever that may be. Find your luminous truth, and let it shine.
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